Counseling, the Hard Way
by Himitsu Miko
Summary: “Kairi knew she was going to go prematurely grey, that’s normal for redheads, but now it was kinda a occupational hazard.” RikuXSora HAPPY HEARTS DAY!


**Title: **Counseling....the hard way

**Summary: "**Kairi knew she was going to go prematurely grey, that's normal for redheads, but now it was kinda a occupational hazard." RikuXSora with hints of AkuRoku for flavor.

**Warnings: **um, lots of shit, but in comical ways, so I don't think I really need this. So I'll just say swearing and be done with it.

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim. Through if I did make the game, it'd be _so_much more fun writing this, not that it wasn't fun XD

**Word count: **1,029

**A/N: **the title of the fic is Counseling – the hard way, I wanted it to be ... but FF net don't let that cause......well idk why. Inspired by Me and My step-sister's commentary on the ending skit of KH2. god we have issues. Wait...she is god XD Enjoy!!

**Counseling...The Hard Way**

Kairi already knew she was going to go pre-maturely grey, that tended to happen to redheads. Though grey hair was now an occupational hazard. Who knew couple's counseling would be so stressing? Okay, maybe that should've been expected.

She sent Axel and Roxas out, gathered up their file, put it away, and then called for her next appointment. It was her two childhood friends that had been together for....um....1....2.....6....oh screw it. They've been together for forever.

Sora and Riku walked into her office and Sora still seemed that ADHD kid he always was, Riku still the stoic, protective one.

"You guys have been together for year. Why're you here?" Kairi asks and Sora's smile falls to an expression the redhead never wanted to see on his face again. He looked so hurt. So lost. So lonely.

"Riku's not paying attention to me anymore," Sora says eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"I'm paying attention to you," Riku says carefully unemotional.

"What about when the heartless attacked the islands? You left me there."

"I told you to follow me."

"And then went to darkness. Are you _trying_ to kill people?"

"Of course not,. I came back from darkness, remember?"

"Only to give yourself the alias of Xhenort's Heartless and join Organization XIII!"

"I didn't join them! I merely liked the clothes!" (1)

"I don't believe you." Sora crosses his arms, slouching and pouting.

Kairi sighs, she should've known she'd be helpless here. "Sora," She says carefully. "Why don't you believe Riku?"

"Because the whole Organization's gay and the leader makes sure he's fucked them. He even made King Mickey join!"

"Why does Mickey matter?" she asks still using her counseling voice, soft and unjudgemental.

"Because they had something going on between them," Sora answers hurt.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you _see_ them when we came back? He's _never_ given me a look that gentle!"

"What's wrong with that? We were away and long distance relationships suck. So it's called off while we're away." Riku defends.

"That's I understand. But Mickey's a _mouse_ god dammit! A mouse! That's bestiality!"

"Not if they're self aware!"

"See?! He doesn't bother to be embarrassed or deny it at all!"

Kairi blinks. Riku and Mickey led to visuals she could live her whole life without.

"Well what about you, Donald, and Goofy?" Riku asks.

"We did no such things! They were told to find the key bearer, they were looking for the kind and I was looking for _you_ who knew you two were so close?!

At this point, Kairi was grateful the office was sound proof. She had the beginnings of a migraine, thank god for the aspirin in her desk drawer.

"Riku," She confronts shutting the two boys up for a second. "Did you have sexual relations with anyone in the Organization and/or Mickey?"

"Organization? No. Mickey? Well......that was a good night."

"See?! See! He doesn't love me anymore!" Sora wails.

Kairi closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and counts to ten. None of the above helped. She reopens her eyes seeing Sora's hurt expression and Riku's dutifully neutral one. There was no such thing as happily every after. She's known that. But she didn't know people got quite this fucked up. These were problems form _years_ ago.

"Riku," Kairi addresses patiently, "Do you love Sora?"

"Of course I do," Riku replies expression softening as he looked at Sora, and he said Riku never given him a look that gentle.

"And, Sora, you love Riku?" She asks addressing the hurt brunette.

"...Yes....I'm just pissed," he answers stubbornly not looking at Riku, and Kairi swallows down an exasperated sigh.

"If Riku were to show shame and apologize, would you forgive him?" The redhead could tell Riku was getting antsy at being talked about as if he wasn't there. But he knew it was necessary so he let it go.

"Yes." Sora whispers his answer.

"Riku do you feel shame from what you did?"

".......Slightly."

"Would you apologize to Sora?"

"No." (**Eve:** OMG, Yay! 666 words! -does happy dance-)

Kairi blinks a couple of times before that answer registers. "Why not?"

"Because of that letter you sent him in that bottle. You didn't see how happy and excited hi looked. It makes up for _everything_ I did." Riku answers.

Kairi looks away. She hadn't meant to drive a wedge between the two boys. She had just wanted to send Sora and encouraging message. But it reached him a little late it seemed, for Riku had already been found, but in reading the letter it opened the door to light. All's well that ends okay, right?

Kairi blinks. "I'm.....sorry?" she phrases it like a question for she didn't know if she was supposed to apologize or not.

"How does a simple letter excuse bestiality, abandonment, and cheating?!" Sora asks enraged again.

"How doesn't it?"

"You probably abandoned me so you could cheat on me, didn't you?!"

"Maybe."

"God dammit!" Kairi snaps slamming her hand on her desk as she stands, successfully shutting the boys up for a _long_ while. "Why can't you just fucking _apologize_ so you can make up?!"

Sora had never heard Kairi curse before. Nor had Riku. It scared the two boys.

"S......Sorry?" Sora says cowering as far back as he can in his chair.

"Not you," Kairi growls and Sora tries to shrink further back but hit the wood inside of the plushy chair.

"Sorry," Riku says, for, if she wasn't talking to Sora, who else could she be talking to?

"Not to me," Kairi says through gritted teeth forcing herself to sit down and place her hands in her lap. So that was how the blow up fit the conversation.

"I'm sorry, Sora," Riku says facing the brunette.

"Sorry for?" Kairi prompts.

"I'm sorry for cheating on and abandoning you. And for Mickey."

"Sora?" Kairi prods with a nod, visibly calmer.

"Apology accepted." Sora uncurls himself smiling at his boyfriend. Kairi knew she'd see _plenty_ more grey hairs in the mirror after this. She was going to have to dye her hair again.

"Now make up." She commands and the boys willingly oblige. Riku stands, offering Sora his hand. Sora takes it, entwining their fingers as he's pulled to a standing position, and Riku kisses hi. It was one of the patient and apologetic kisses that never fail to make single people feel lonely. Coincidentally Kairi was single, but she had grown immune to this so all was good.

"Now go home and have make up sex," the redhead commands when the boys pull apart. They smile at her and nod before leaving. She once again puts the file away and looks at her next couple before popping some aspirin before going out to call them. I was so happy this was my last one.

**A/N:** tada! Funny enough? It was fun to write, that's for sure. Review!

**(1) **reference to my oneshot "To Own one of the Orgy's Black Coats"

Your Author

~Evelynn


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